Category Archives: Relationships

“I HOPE YOU DANCE” With Me!

A few years back as I sat at my office desk, gazing out of the window and wishing to escape,I longed for permission.

Permission to take the leap of faith,to go the extra mile, to risk it all and essentially DANCE – because in my mind, I knew it was time to DANCE into my season and cultivate my entrepreneurial vision.

BUT like most of us, life kept getting in the way-

Then, on Christmas 2002 – my fantabulous mother, who is a “shero” in her own right, gave me a book (Mark D. Sanders & Tia Sillers) complete with CD (Lee Ann Womack) offering the words I needed to hear —

“I HOPE YOU DANCE….Promise me you’ll give faith a fighting chance…”

Fast forward – 10 months later (2003)and a few conspiring “challenges” that would “catapult” and “inspire” me to leave that office, step into the world and become a full-time participant in my entrepreneurial life. In my decision,I did not know all the answers and was not sure of the entire plan but it all just “felt” right!

….”Because I want you to dance as you journey thru life’s good and bad times”are the words inscribed in my book from my MOM-and these are the words I offer each and everyone of you in this post…..

“I HOPE YOU DANCE” inspired by the song by LEE ANN WOMACK.

Until next time,…”I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance”
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!

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Michelle Obama On: Work Life Balance, Children, Marriage & Choices

In their recent interview with Barbara Walters, President & First Lady elect Barack & Michelle Obama have been talking about how their marriage and children will transition during the move to their new home @ 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

As any parent knows, whenever the job calls – and you have to transplant your family into a new environment, there is stress. Stress from dealing with the unknown and most importantly about how everyone will adjust, while maintaining some sense of normalcy.

One of the items that many have found interesting is the fact that the First Lady To Be, Michelle Obama has stated that the children (Malia & Sasha) will do chores in the White House – like making up their beds. There are some people who see this as unrealistic – however, in an attempt to keep children grounded, this idea makes perfect sense. We have to admit however, that the synergy between this husband and wife team seems to be the formula that will make any transition – work.

For everyone else out there, with so much going on in our world today – what challenges are you facing – as you try to keep a balance and things somewhat “NORMAL” for your children family?

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It’s Almost Thanksgiving…Are You Grateful?

thanksgiving

It is almost Thanksgiving again – and with the way things are, it would seem that there is nothing left to do but complain. I know, the economy is bust – millions have been laid off – and the world seems to be spinning 1000 miles and hour because ALOT has Changed.

Well, I’m here to say that in the midst of it all, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.
As I contemplated, the words of this post, I thought about my dear friend Amie Smith Harris – who despite the miles has always remained close.

Well, a few years back – because we are both Oprah freaks, she bought me “The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude” from Sarah Ban Breathnach. The idea of this, is that at the end of EVERYDAY you are to reflect back and write down 5 things that you are grateful for. What this exercise does – is it forces you to focus on the positive – in your day as opposed to the negative.

Anywho, as I began to review my post from Thanksgiving Day – when I first started journaling, here are the 5 things I was and continue to be grateful for on this special day:

Great Thanksgiving Meal
Candle light and atmosphere
Beautiful Table
Coming Together to make a nice day
Family Time

As we all look to the holiday season which can sometimes be overwhelming and in some cases depressing (especially with the state of the economy) look forward and celebrate the simple things that make the season grand and remember that the holidays (like TRUE FRIENDS) have NEVER been about quantity –

Quality Trumps EVERYTIME —–

Peace & Continued Blessings,

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Beyonce, All The Single Ladies & Saturday Night Live

Alright – We all know that I am a fan of Beyonce “Mrs. Jay-Z” aka Sasha Fierce!

Beyonce has always been a woman who knows what see wants and goes right after it……

So after her recent nuptials to Hip Hop Mogul Jay-Z, seems she’s decieded to re-invent herself and is now Sasha Fierce. Kinda like what happened with Diddy, Prince and a few others…

Anywho, in anticipation of her new album release she is doing promotional work – and was recently spotted on Saturday Night Live spoofing her video for Single Ladies along with Justin Timberlake as a back-up dancer.
HILARIOUS…..

Now, her advice to “put a ring on it” reminds me of what my Daddy used to say…..“Women set the standard for society.” So, if we want to give out the milk for free, the diary farmers will certainly come a calling. Y’all know with milk at almost $4 a gallon, who wouldn’t want it for free?!??! (lol)

And No, I’m not saying drag him down the aisle – I’m just sayin’ we should conduct ourselves so that he would want to or have to put a ring on it……

And Yes Guys – this one’s checkin’ For You Too. YEAH, I’m talking to you…..

ENJOY….. as this You Tuber works it to Single Ladies…

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Michelle Obama’s Mama To Move Into White House……

Obama Family Transition

Word has it that the first Grandma, Marian Robinson will be moving into the White House – To This I say KUDOS to the first family for keeping family first!

So, many times in our worship of “youth culture” we forget about the contributions, wisdom and insight our parents, grandparents and ancestors. I am here to say that if we do not know our past we cannot possibly understand our present and thus our future. Our elders are the griots or storytellers that keep the bloodlines strong. Just think, we would not be here without the previous generations – and until we begin to embrace every generation of our family we will never succeed.

I for one, have ALWAYS included my children’s grandparents in their lives. Not only does it make sense for the security of the children, it also has freed me up as a parent to earn a living and pursue my dreams. By knowing that my children are in the safe keep of their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc – I am able focus and move forward. I have to say also say that with grandparents on your childcare team, there are a couple of things the kids can get – when money is tight (smile). I was really excited when my son was born – and my Dad was able to watch my son in retirement. It was not only good for my family, it also made him (my Dad) feel productive and needed. Plus, with him as a childcare provider – my costs were reduced considerably as I paid him a fraction of what I would have for a traditional childcare center.

For those of you that might not have access to elderly family members, adopt one – and there are a number of childcare organizations that link up grandparents with parents. A great example to this is

Man, between Michelle Obama’s Mama in the White House and Joe Biden’s no-nonsense Mom around, those White House Kids (ALL OF THEM) -should be in line —–

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What Are You Pregnant With?!??!

pregnantwoman

Over time, I have often thought of and used the analogy of pregnancy in my journey.

After giving birth to two children, one – au natural and the other with the help of that darn epidural, I have often compared the childbirth experiences with both children. Now, of course I love both of my kids – but I have to say the one that was delivered naturally offered the most opportunity to live in the moment. Dealing with numbing pain, testing my strengths, overcoming pain thresholds, and challenging my weaknesses to ultimately bring forth life – allowed me to see myself, partner, family and world in a totally different way. Let’s put it this way, if I ever underestimated the power of mother nature or the universe and my own potential – after I gave birth, I doubted NO MORE. This is why I often say “Careful what you ask, the UNIVERSE will deliver”

Comparatively, when we become pregnant with ideas, visions, business plans – we must nourish the dream, carry it for a period of time and finally give birth to it. The thing is, many people may never see the full potential of their dreams/pregnancy because some where along the line they choose to terminate. Now, don’t get me wrong – I am certainly not one to tell folks what they should do when confronted with a “pregnant pause” – because ultimately, they will have to deal with their decision – and in this way I am certainly Pro-Choice. I am however, a strong advocate of thinking through the entire process, strategically making decisions and being prepared so that when a pregnancy occurs, you can be in a place (mentally, spiritually, physically, financially) to consider bringing a pregnancy to term.

As an entrepreneur, I am surrounded by a number of innovative thinkers that are talented and are pregnant with any number of ideas. They face daily challenges, struggles, barriers and of course successes. As they travel their individual paths, everyday they are forced to examine their ideas and assess the viability of the life transforming ideas they nurture within.

For some, conception to birth may take 9 hours, 9 days, 9 months or 9 years – but for those that are pragmatic, committed and passionate about the life they have inside, like me, they will find that “natural child-birth” can be a wonderful experience, labor pains and all!

In summation, I’d say that it is tempting to take the “epidural” and the easy way out. It makes the pain less, but please remember that as hard as it might be, the old saying “no pain, no gain” is really valid. Overcoming the pain is what allows us to discover our own strengths and ultimately appreciate our Successes – If we make our choices carefully, and not numb our apparent pain during the struggle – that idea, child, moment or experience – might just be our most transformative…

So, what are you PREGNANT WITH?

pregnant2

Photos courtesy: fotosearch.com

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Your Partner Ain’t Your Parent!!!

I know Partner and Parent have EXACTLY the same letters in them – but guess what?

They are not interchangeable….

I once read a quote from Quincy Jones – musical genius -and it addressed just what I am talking about…
“I know now that no other woman can take the place of a man’s mother, and that no man can take the place of a woman’s father.”

So many people fall into this place where they are in a relationship expecting their partner to somehow leave off where Mom or Dad left off – Now, for those who might feel that our parents somehow missed a beat, there might be a tendency to seek out partners that fill that void.

NEWSFLASH people it ain’t gonna happen! For one, if we are broken and searching for love in that spirit, we will find the people that mirror our broken-ness. It is unfair to expect anyone to fill another person’s shoes especially if it is an “idealized” image we hold in our heads.

Until we find another way to take care of that needy child inside – we all ALWAYS feel let down when that partner fails to deliver what we “expect.”

So, today – if you’re feeling frustrated or disappointed with your relationship (married or single) check yourself and make sure your expectations are realistic. Accept your partner for who THEY are and take note of what makes them unique as your partner NOT your parent…..and most importantly, no one can read your palm or your heart – so talk about what you’re feeling

relationship-hand

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